There are many people who have altered my path in life, if even just a little. Usually, these changes are for what I perceive as better, though occasionally there will be that person who comes along and dims our light, or makes us weary to open our hearts again. I suppose in those moments that our greater work is not to let that hold us back from loving with all we’ve got. Though we are all influenced by and give influence to those around us, I sense that each person we meet on this journey has some greater purpose in the whole scheme of things, though we might not fully understand what that is in any given moment.

My childhood was a myriad of influences, from my father’s perfectionistic ways to my mother’s entrepreneurial adventures with our family jewelry/health food/esp store. At the age of twelve, I chose to move in with my grandparents as a refuge from the tumultuous war that had broken out between my parents. It was during this time that I received the most profound influence from another in relation to the path I would take.

My grandparents were amazingly loving souls. Grandpa could ‘spin a yarn’ with the best of them. He and Gramma gave love to everyone around them with such enthusiasm that it touched our entire community in the countryside of western New York. My Gramma Riley was a real life angel and through her example, I learned more about unconditional love than any guru on any mountaintop could ever teach me. It was also my Gram who showed me the difference that unconditional love can make in the life of another, especially a young person, as her love got me through some difficult times that I might not otherwise have survived. It’s why I always stop to lend an ear or give a hug to any person who enters my world as we all have moments of heartbreak and desperation that aren’t always seen by the world around us. Grandma believed that the gifts that come from loving those around us are returned a hundred fold and she planted those seeds so deeply that I can’t resist taking as many young people under my wing while as will possibly fit. In her eyes, there was no reason not to share a jewel of wisdom, a plate of food or a clean bed with anyone struggling.

Then, decades later, I met the second heroine who would change my life in a dramatic way. My first introduction to her took place in Washington, DC, through my dear friend Joel. He had spoken of an amazing woman that he had been working with for many years and sensed would be deeply touched by her presence. I felt so invigorated as we drove through the streets of the capitol city, seeing the White House and all of the historical sites. This town always reminds me of the founding fathers and what an inspired group of people are capable of creating together, if they are courageous and industrious.

On this particular morning, the sky was gray and it was a crisp, autumn day. Joel had stopped to pick up coffee for some of the office staff at the National Council of Negro Women, where I was to meet Dr. Dorothy Height, who was the President of this outstanding organization.

We got out of the cab in front of a beautiful building on Pennsylvania Avenue, located not far from the Whitehouse. Joel explained to me that this was the only building owned by an African American organization on Pennsylvania Avenue and it was due to Dr. Height’s tenacious spirit that it had been secured. I listened to the story of how she pulled off the procurement of this historic building against great opposition. As we walked in to the office, two women greeted us with big smiles as Joel passed out the cups of coffee. Then one of the women informed him, “She’s been waiting for you.”

We walked into a large, beautiful room with rounded, ornate windows, overlooking the famous street below. Behind a large desk sat a meticulously dressed, frail looking, elderly woman. She was sporting a purple business suit, adorned with a delicious, purple hat.  Everything about her looked perfect and as I looked around, I realized that this iconic woman who I had heard so much about was sitting in her own version of the White House Oval Office, just up the street from us.

“You’re late,” she said, looking at Joel. “Yes, Dr. Height,” he responded with a boyish smile. Her eyes twinkled with both love and impatience, as I could tell she was not a woman who appreciated tardiness. Then, she looked inquisitively at me. My friend introduced us and explained that I would be helping with her book. Her soulful, brown eyes were filled with such light and wisdom that I was taken aback. I recognized that Dr. Height carried the same powerful, matriarchal spirit as my Gramma. The only difference was that my grandmother had spent her days pouring selfless love and commitment into her family and nearby community. Dr. Height adopted the world as her family and spent non-stop days of selfless commitment focused on civil rights, women’s rights and human rights. Her children took the form of her closest confidantes and her matriarchal spirit was focused on uniting people from all walks of life to join forces for a higher purpose.   

Our mission that day was to record stories for a book that Joel was compiling on Dr. Height’s life. As I sat there listening to her stories, I had to do everything possible to keep my jaw from dropping. Dorothy spoke of events from decades ago with such clarity, as if they had happened the day before. Her words were succinct and she was thoughtful in how she recounted this history, to make sure all was accurate.  This force of nature began sharing her memories of the Little Rock nine, as she walked with those children into the school while a thousand armed guards stood by. She spoke of the time she insisted that Martin Luther King be the last man to speak at the March on Washington so that he could give his, “I have a dream speech” … and she stood on stage with him to make sure no one interfered. Dr. Height was the only woman on the front line of that historic march, with all of the male civil rights leaders. She believed that it was necessary for at least one woman be present at all important meetings in the world as if decisions were made solely by men, they would not be of the highest combined wisdom. My heart almost beat through my chest as I listened in awe and it made me realize that even though my life had been dedicated to making the world a better place (something else that my Gramma taught me), that there was always room for even greater purpose and passion.

We made many visits to Washington, D.C. over the next few years and I fell in love with this remarkable role model. Each time I listened to Dr. Height’s stories or watched her lead an event, I absorbed even greater levels of what it looked like to wield the sword of power from a feminine focal point. Dorothy Height’s petite frame and soft smile was merely a smokescreen for the fearless change maker that resided within.

Eventually, the inevitable heartbreak that comes from falling in love with a woman in her 90’s arrived and Dr. Height passed away.  With heavy hearts, Joel and I attended her memorial, which was nothing short of a presidential tribute. Civil rights leaders, past and current US Presidents and politicians, major celebrities and almost the entire sorority of Delta Sigma Theta were in attendance.  We rode in a motorcade of black cars for my first D.C., dignitary funeral procession, in which President Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, Maya Angelou and so many more were a part of. Dorothy changed the world, and everyone who was touched by her soul felt the loss of a not only a great leader, but of a matriarch who made us all feel loved and purposeful in a greater world family.

 

Fast forward to February 2017, where today my comrade Joel and I returned to Washington, to partake in another beautiful tribute to Dr. Height. The US Postal Service dedicated a stamp in honor of her as part of the Black Heritage series. Seeing the image of Dorothy’s face on stage as people reminisced about her life made me realize that the spirit she infused into me through our time together was alive and well. I heard her voice in my head as she confided to me on one of our meetings that the high rate of women in prison was alarming and that something needed to be done. Oh, Dr. Height, I know that you didn’t have enough life left in you to take that one on and wonder if I have the strength to take those marching orders from you now… but if you can hear me, wherever you are, I am truly considering it.

We all meet people who change our course, some more than others and even if we alter the trajectory in the slightest bit, we end up at a whole new destination than we would have without the influence of this other soul.

Take a moment as you reflect to think about those beings who have altered your path, if even just the slightest bit … and how their influence has changed you. Ask yourself if are you on the path that you wish to be on … that you are truly meant to be living. And then, if you have the courage, ask yourself how you have impacted the people in your life and if you would like to alter anything about that.  It only takes a moment … a kind word or a smile … an extra sandwich for a hungry person or even better, some volunteer time for a great cause that might otherwise be spent watching television or playing video games.  For people like Dorothy Height, every moment or her day and night was filled with selfless dedication to the world around her and I am grateful to have witnessed how living such a life can influence the entire world in a profound way!

“It is in a moment that we change ourselves … and in a series of moments that we change the world.”  ~ Catherine Miller (channeled from my heroes, Gramma Riley and Dr. Height, no doubt)