This is a blog from several years back … the archives of my own journey. I thought that parents going through the empty next phase would relate and enjoy the magic of this story.

My youngest son decided to move east with his eldest brother for college and I was left with my first experience as an empty nester. After 24 years of being a full time, single parent it seemed as though a huge hole had just appeared in my life! I knew that this was a sacred time of transformation and didn’t quite know how to grapple with it and no one around me seemed to even notice that this was a big moment in my life!  So, I decided to honor this change with some solitude by doing one of my favorite things in life … taking an impromptu road trip.

This decision brought up mixed feelings as most of my travel adventures throughout the years were taken with my sons, sigh.  Here I was, the day before Christmas (my sons headed east early as they decided to drive and had to arrive by the start of the spring semester), feeling soooooo sad.  I pulled up one of the vacation swapping sights that I’d joined and found some options for bed and breakfasts in Monterey.  It was amazing that I got a reply so quickly from a wonderful couple who was willing to trade their charming studio for a room here in our historical estate in Santa Barbara sometime in the future. I believe that when things flow this easily, they are meant to be, and I made a promise to myself in that moment to really honor the sacredness of this journey.

The next morning I packed and ran around town delivering holiday packages and visiting some soul family for the holiday. Then, I packed up my car, kissed my partner goodbye and headed north. I got to my temporary home in the early evening and aside from a stop at the local grocery store, I settled in for the night. It had been some time since I’d been alone and I enjoyed the solitude immensely. In our somewhat busy household, it seems I’m always in demand to answer some question or fix some problem. Cooking dinner in this quiet space made me feel as though a really heavy backpack had just been removed from my shoulders. I curled up on the couch and watched French Kiss for the millionth time (ok, maybe a slight exaggeration). When I finally slid under the covers for the night, tears filled my eyes as the emotions of my new life set in. First arrived the sadness at what my world would be like with my sons living so far away. Then, a short time later, another feeling emerged and I was quite surprised by it as it resembled elation!?! The reality that such a huge responsibility had just shifted for me seemed really freeing and I had never imagined feeling that way.

[quote]I found that I could have a great conversation with just me.[/quote]

The next morning I awoke and found fresh eggs from the resident chickens and raw, organic milk sitting outside of my door. Wow, what a treat! Then, I ventured into town to explore. I’d heard about the Monterey Aquarium but I’d never been there before and thought I’d take a look inside. I was amazed at the number of people who had the very same idea and wandered through the crowds inside. In that moment, I realized that being alone in a quiet space was easy compared to being alone among the masses. The first thing that happens in such a moment is usually a sense of loneliness as everyone around you has someone to talk to but you! Then, after a while of adjustment, I found that I could have a great conversation with just me. It was sweet and a feeling of genuine connection to my own soul overtook me. This was just about the point in my adventure when I entered the seahorse display.

There they were, right in front of me … two amazing seahorses on a movie screen that were sharing their magical ritual that occurs before mating. I had no idea that seahorses were so romantic … so passionate … and now I was mesmerized by the beauty of their dance that they performed with each other in a prolonged ceremony of bonding before conceiving. As I sat in awe of all that was happening around me, a wave of bliss washed through me.  Everything was perfect … the graceful seahorses in all their glory … the crowds laughing and sharing their experience … the stunning display created by the curators … my sons living back east … my new life …

Had I hesitated for a minute after feeling the knowingness to go away by myself, I might have missed this extraordinary trip. Through taking time alone to rediscover my own sense of self and what was occurring inside of me, I felt renewed, excited and as if I’d honored a really important time in my life and the lives of my sons. So often, in our busy existence, we overlook these tender moments of sacredness and pass right by them with barely a notice and I’m certain that at the end of our lives, these will be the most precious memories that we hold on to.

So, next time you feel an urge to get away for awhile … or even an afternoon … really honor that feeling and know that there is a jewel of passion that is waiting to unfold for you 🙂 Don’t worry about how you will afford the time or the cost … if you are honoring yourself, it will all fall into place. Bon Voyage!!!